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Training of Trainers Program – Event Report

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Training of Trainers Program – Event Report

Person to Person’s Training of Trainers program, also known as the ‘Faculty Enrichment Seminar’ ended on an enthusiastic and upbeat mood, as participants completed their training modules and received their accredited certificates on Sunday, the 10th of February.

The three-day training program is aimed at fine tuning the training skills of those who are involved in training, teaching or preaching, or are planning to take them up on a regular basis. The training program is accredited by the Association of Christian Counsellors – South Asia.

As is the case of most PtP programs, the participant profile for the Training of Trainers program  was also diverse and included those who are involved in full-time ministry as well as those who are engaged in corporate or non-profit sectors; those who have had a prior relationship with the training institute as well as those who have never heard about Person to Person. A total of 19 participants from Hyderabad and other cities signed up for the program; the youngest being 19-years-old and the eldest, 59.

The program focuses on personal preparation, classroom dynamics, learning and teaching styles, learning objectives and lesson plans and communicating audio visually  and packs in practical workshops and micro teaching sessions.

The above collage is of the micro teaching sessions where each participant is asked to teach his peers employing the knowledge and skills he or she has been imparted. These sessions are also evaluated by their peers using an objective scorecard.

Sharing their feedback about the training program, participants testified about the validity of the course in the present day and about the competence of the facilitators in educating them and imparting those skills.

“…It’s always a pleasure to attend PtP programs, I get to learn so much here, and the faculty was excellent..” said Krishna Ayyar, a business consultant from the IT sector . “Also had a great time interacting with participants, which we do not get in a corporate environment; friendly interaction where we learn from participants and not just the faculty”, he added.

Attending her very first PtP training program Esther Sridevi said, “Heard about the PtP ministry and Dr. Samson Gandhi but was only able to put a face to it when I saw the brochure that was forwarded to me on Whatsapp. I have never taught to an audience like this, learnt so many things.. had the opportunity to be the MC for first time in my life… gave me confidence.”  Personally convinced about PtP training programs, Esther added that she is also planning to sign up for the Christian counselling courses and that she would also encourage her friends to sign up for them.

Emphasizing the importance of counselling in Christian ministry and recognizing the dearth of trained Christian counsellors in Indian churches, another participant J Ashirwadam, expressed that more Christians must come forward and get trained as Christian counsellors. Mr. Ashirwadam praised God for giving this vision to Dr. Samson Gandhi. He applauded the “well-seasoned, highly equipped and outstanding faculty of the program,” and appreciated “the coordination, love and affection of the PtP team for creating a professional yet family like atmosphere.”

Training of Trainers is the second accredited training program conducted by Person to Person in Hyderabad this year. For more information on our upcoming training programs refer our Events Calendar on our website.

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Training of Trainers Program Kicks Off in Hyderabad

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Training of Trainers Program Kicks Off in Hyderabad

The much awaited Training of Trainers program kicked off at the Grace Communion Church today in Hyderabad. This accredited training program is catered to participants who have a passion to teach and are looking to sharpen their skills to teach, preach or facilitate. The course is spread over three days and will cover topics such as –
  • Personal preparation
  • Classroom dynamics
  • Learning and teaching styles
  • Learning objectives and lesson plans
  • And communicating audio visually, among others.
As one would expect, it is pragmatic in approach and comes with workshops and micro teaching sessions that participants can readily benefit from. “As always we have a good mix of participants for this PtP program as well. Out of the total 19 participants, 5 are women and 14 are men. Participants are from Christian ministry as well as from secular vocations.” said Noel Nicholas, PtP’s admin manager.

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PtP Launches Its First E-learning Program

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PtP Launches Its First E-learning Program

Person to Person, on Friday launched its first e-learning program – Introduction to Biblical Counselling, in Hyderabad. The team did not choose to have a special event for its launch but rolled it out at the ABC Level 3 training program that is currently underway in Hyderabad.

“We thought it would be meaningful to do it here, during one of their tea breaks, and also give a small demo so the participants can take the news back to their church groups and let their friends know about it”, said Noel Nicholas, the Admin Manager.

The team had been working hard for many months now, to take the Board’s vision of offering some of the training programs through the e-learning mode.

Mr. Philip Dayanidhi, PtP Board member, and his wife Reupah were hands on in developing the video animations for the lessons themselves. They also provided their valuable feedback at every stage and along with few other board members, were part of the pilot project that audited the course before the launch.

Speaking at the launch ceremony, Dr. Samson Gandhi, the Executive Director of Person to Person, said “The Introduction to Biblical Counselling course, which is Person to Person’s basic course in Christian counselling is a tried and tested course, that has been offered to over 1200 participants across the nation so far, through the distance education mode”, and added that he is happy to launch it online.

Pastor Daniel Zachariah, the senior pastor of Grace Communion Church, Trimulgheri, prayed and asked for God to continue to enable the ministry and for the participants who undergo their training programs.

Cdr. J.P Moses, PtP’s board member, congratulated the PtP team and launched the online course.

Paul Yesudas, PtP’s IT & Media Manager gave a brief demo of the course and explained the registration process.

The course is now available online for an introductory price of Rs. 1000/-.

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Practice Generosity – Joy and Character Will Come Your Way

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Practice Generosity – Joy and Character Will Come Your Way

Generosity is a spirit of life. It is not just a matter of giving away money and things, although that is a part of it. Our source of understanding generosity is neither Bill Gates nor Warren Buffet, although I have a great regard for them. Our template is God Himself as He is restoring His image in us. Christ in us is the hope of glory. He can empower us to be generous.

God is generous. He creates big, loves us lavishly and treats us like kings. He is building mansions for us; He will come and take us to heaven, personally. As He thinks of the whole world, He thinks of me. Though His mind is filled with mind-boggling concerns of the world, He is mindful of my little needs. God is generous in His details. His outlook is never sketchy.

The forgiveness of God made possible in Jesus Christ is the fountainhead of all generosity.

The forgiveness of God made possible in Jesus Christ is the fountainhead of all generosity. He paid the debt I could never repay. Wiped away the blot I could never erase. He is lifting me to heights I could never attain. None of this at a price but all freely given. Therefore, generosity is His initiative. When we experience such free-flowing grace, we become channels of His generosity. Jesus’ grace is the fountainhead of all human generosity.

Our generosity begins with forgiveness. We have tasted the sweet forgiveness of God given to us generously, freely and with no pre-conditions. Let us be generous in forgiving. When Jesus forgave the sin of the woman caught in the act of adultery (John 8), He did not even use the word forgive. When He said, “Go and sin no more” to her, nobody was there. When Jesus went into the house of Zacchaeus the Tax collector, there is no mention of a sermon on extortion or patriotism. His graceful and generous presence at his house even at the cost of criticism, condemnation and rejection by a section of the community was amazing.

We would be so awful if we were to expose a person before forgiving; if we were to make him/her feel miserable before releasing; if we were to forgive but bring it up again and again. When you forgive, do it generously. The only way we can do it is to see Jesus on the cross dying for our sins. Forgiving in love is the highest form of generosity. When our heart becomes light, our lips become gracious (generous) and hands become big.

Be generous in your appreciation. Offer compliments generously.

Be generous in your appreciation. Offer compliments generously. In Indian culture, appreciating one another and complimenting each other does not come easily. If we grew up without much appreciation, we will find it difficult to appreciate others. However, as we receive from God and begin to appreciate and compliment others, you will be surprised to see that what goes around comes back to you. However, I am not at all suggesting that one must flatter the other. Flattery is a deception. We must train ourselves to look at the bright side of every person and reflect a positive image to them. Make believing statements like, “I know you can do this.” Or “If I had my way, you would be in my team.” Or to someone young, “You rock!”

Let us be generous in small giving. There are so many places we interact with people who serve us. Bearers in restaurants, bell boys at hotels, parking attendants (where parking is not paid for), valet parking attendants, boys who carry groceries from the counters of a supermarket to your scooter/car, security guards at gated communities, auto rickshaw drivers and cab drivers are a few of them.

A cultural approach to this would be to offer a tip as a polite gesture. Leaving a decent tip for a good service is transactional. Verbal appreciation and decent tip would be a humane approach. But what would be a generous approach? If God has blessed you, and you are sensitive that all those that serve you struggle with poverty (at many of these places the employers just give them a meagre, nominal salary and expect them to survive on tips), then with a grateful heart to God can we leave a generous tip or offer a generous gratis to those that serve us? Such generosity does not wipe away their poverty but certainly lights up their heart, momentarily. For some, it is enough to face another tough day.

Most times, we are generous towards rich and stingy towards others.

Most times, we are generous towards rich and stingy towards others. When we are invited to weddings, anniversaries, birthdays and other social functions we tend to segregate our hosts and categorize them. To the rich we give expensive gifts and large amounts by way of reciprocation and sometimes to impress them. Probably, we think the rich will recognise us, return the favour in some form or the other and somehow we want to measure up to their status. I believe most rich people don’t care for the gifts but value your presence. If this is true then will a bouquet of flowers be sufficient?

When we are invited by those who are not rich, we are tight-fisted in our giving. We might give or spend just enough to reciprocate or as an obligation. However, when poor people invite us, let us be generous. They will not be able to return the favour and therefore your gifts would be purely out of generosity without any expectation whatsoever. Some people just send their gifts and not attend the function. Although your gifts may be generous, what will dignify your gift would be your presence. Sometimes our giving of gifts is also in the nature of “settling accounts”. We tend to ask, “What did they give us?” and “What should we be giving?” That is a ‘poor’ spirit of giving. It is difficult to be generous without a generous spirit.

For some of us, more than money, our space matters. Armrests in buses, trains and aeroplanes are a testing ground for our generosity. If you are in a middle seat, both the armrests are in question. In an isle or a window seat at least one armrest is yours. You could possibly share the common one but if it is contested be generous. Give up your privilege with a smile. Be generous. Remember it does not happen always.

Interesting things happen in church, too. Some members come early and occupy an aisle seat as they prefer it or more practically under a fan on a hot day. However, quite a few come late and must cross the aisle seat to occupy others. It is bad practice to come late, disturb the service and inconvenience someone who has come early. However, be generous. Slide and give space to the late-comer. Sometimes, the latecomers are more than the seats available in a pew. They expect the early comer to ‘adjust’. Be generous to leave the pew for their comfort and you find your own space. Go the ‘extra mile’.

More than money and space, what becomes more and more precious is your time.

As the Lord prospers you, you will come into money and comforts. More than money and space, what becomes more and more precious is your time. Jesus ceased from ‘ministry’ and spent time with His disciples. He invited himself to a supper at Zacchaeus’ house. He spent time with Lazarus, Mary and Martha. After an amazing resurrection, Jesus had time to have breakfast with his disciples, walk and chat with Cleopas and his companion. Can we be with people instead of doing things for them? Being generous in time with people is better than generous in things for the people. We will become a little bit more like Christ. After all He left heaven and came down to be with us.

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Book Review of ‘THE SHACK’

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Book Review of ‘THE SHACK’

‘The Shack’ is a novel by a Canadian author William Young and has become a ‘USA Today’ bestseller, having sold over 20 million copies worldwide.

The author of ‘The Shack’ weaves a spiritually profound and life-impacting narrative around a life-altering tragedy of a family, who, when they are out holidaying, discover that their youngest daughter Missy, has been suddenly abducted. Their shock soon turns into utter horror, when the search parties find her mutilated and lifeless body in a desolate shack, high up in the mountains. Indications point to a child abuser spotted in the area but it’s too late for the family.

He is unable to understand why a benevolent God could let such a horrible thing happen to his innocent little girl.

Unable to come to terms with this unimaginable tragedy at the shack, the remaining members of the family find themselves being torn up individually and drifting apart as a family. They are barely able to cope with their lives, even as the father Mack (Mackenzie) Philips ends up embittered against God. He is unable to understand why a benevolent God could let such a horrible thing happen to his innocent little girl.

Mack spirals into a deep depression that causes him to question his innermost beliefs and ends up becoming disdainful towards God. His existential pain is however interrupted one day, when he finds a letter in his mail box. The letter invites him back to the shack in order to find answers to his misery. Enraged at this insensitive mockery and unable to find the prankster who put that letter in his mail box, Mack dashes off to the shack with a pistol tucked away in his trousers, to teach the prankster a lesson.

The shack, which so far held our imagination as a symbol of horror and hurt, soon becomes a place of healing and restoration, as God, who, as we learn, did sent Mack the invitation, graciously begins to minister to him… not as a voice or a representation but in human form, not as a vision that he imagines but as a person that he encounters; and not just as one God but through the individual manifestations of the Holy Trinity.

Mack walks into a surreal experience where God The Father, God The Son and God The Holy Spirit make themselves manifest as three individuals.

Perhaps Eugene Peterson’s glowing endorsement of the book best captures the ingenuity of the writer – , “When the imagination of a writer and the passion of a theologian cross-fertilize the result is a novel on the order of “The Shack.”

Just beyond the shack, Mack encounters the triune God and gets to spend a weekend with the enigmatic trio.  Over that weekend, right there at the Shack, God and Mack wrestle with the problem of pain, of suffering, of free will and judgment and heartache and the very nature of God in a way that is entirely captivating, engaging and deep.

Through this encounter, Mack is able to make peace with his tragedy, but not before his faith is dismantled piece by piece and his notions about God – His nature and character, and of the world and sin and man are challenged and corrected.

Mack not only gets a glimpse of time through the eyes of eternity but is also graciously allowed a peek into eternity.

Mack not only gets a glimpse of time through the eyes of eternity but is also graciously allowed a peek into eternity. Here, he not only sees Missy – happy and blissful, but also gets to make peace with his own father – who had abused him as a child, but having repented and received God’s mercy, is now a new creation in Christ.

The author has given us resources that speak powerfully on many aspects of God.  God is presented most beautifully as a ‘Relationship-in-Love’.  He reveals that God knows when we are hurt, angry and confused and understands us and allows His healing waters to wash over us and cleanse the wounds of our souls.  He records how the demands of the law were put to rest and mercy triumphed over justice in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

This learning isn’t easy at all for Mack, who, even after getting a glimpse of the expanse of God’s love and benevolence, struggles to let go of his hurts and struggles even more to forgive his daughter’s murderer. Perhaps this particular episode echoes most with the reader, as it did with me – when the emotions of pain and hurt are so deep and the cry for justice resounds with a desire for vengeful retribution within the heart; but you are expected to trust God and offer love and forgiveness instead. The cross of Christ suddenly becomes so real!

If you have ever longed to see God, you will certainly appreciate this book. If one has experienced – or is going through a time of ‘Agony in the Garden’ of one’s life, this book may be a very cathartic aid. It’s my belief that this is ‘The Shack’s’ real purpose.

‘The Shack’ has inspired me to return to the Bible and learn more through questioning… and then affirming the truth.

Application:

‘The Shack’ has inspired me to return to the Bible and learn more through questioning… and then affirming the truth.

I was enthralled by Mack’s meeting with God and his subsequent discoveries of God’s character. God’s purpose is always to work life out of death, to bring freedom out of brokenness and turn darkness into light.  I was amazed at the author’s understanding of God’s forgiveness, realizing that once I forgive, I too can discover a miracle in my own heart.

It helped me re-examine my own perceptions, and beyond that, it encouraged me to weigh out the truthfulness of the paradigms that I subscribe to.  I found it helpful to look at how God views tragedies. Just because God works incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn’t mean He orchestrates them or causes them to happen to accomplish His purposes.

It helped me re-examine my own perceptions, and beyond that, it encouraged me to weigh out the truthfulness of the paradigms that I subscribe to.

Critique:

Good fiction, especially one that gets us so emotionally involved, comes with the inherent danger of getting the reader to be wary of objective truth; even if it happens at a subconscious level.  I would therefore caution the reader to pace himself and keep his powers of discernment handy.

Some questions worth pondering and screening through the lens of Scripture are:

  • Is Young pointing to new subjective revelation? Or is he giving himself an artistic license?

The Bible is unique and the authoritative Word of God (2 Tim 3:16 – 17)

  • Is the author opening the door to the possibility of salvation outside of the completed work of Jesus Christ on the cross?

Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the life, no one comes to the Father but through Him (John 14:6; Acts 4:12)

  • Is Young suggesting that hierarchy is the result of sin?

Scripture teaches that authority and submission are inherent to the Godhead (Luke 22:42)

  • God the Father and God the Holy Spirit did not speak themselves into human existence; only the Son became human and died on the Cross (John 1:14)
  • Scripture is full of references to God’s impending wrath (Rom 1:18; Col 3:6)
  • Young reveals the God of love as found in Scripture (1 John 4:8); but he ignores the God of utter holiness (Isaiah 6:1- 5); and, ultimately, the final Judge (Rev 20:11 -15)

Yes, there are poignant scenes and emotional moments in the book, even as we get an incredible glimpse at the deep and expansive love of God, but that does not tip the scales against some of the errors that seem to have slipped in. I would therefore caution the reader to enjoy this great read while peppering in some discernment.

Happy reading!

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Weave Prayer Into Your Life; God Has The Best Designs

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Weave Prayer Into Your Life; God Has The Best Designs

Dear Friends,

Person to Person stays in touch with its friends, supporters and partners through a monthly newsletter that updates them with the happenings in the ministry, publishes event reports and notifies upcoming events. We will be delighted to add you to our mailing list. Sign up below.

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Anxiety is Destructive; Try Peace

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Anxiety is Destructive; Try Peace

Dear Friends,

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Family is a Team, Play Your Part

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Family is a Team, Play Your Part

Textiles fascinate me. Before God called me into the field of Christian counselling, He gave me a wonderful exposure to the world of fabrics including woollen and silk carpets and accessories that are handwoven in different parts of India. I can write a little about vegetable dyed, block printed and hand painted Kalamkari fabrics; luxurious cotton sarees with intricately woven silk borders and rich palloos; and Pochampally ikat or Rajasthani tie & dye sarees. But silk carpets captured my heart.

The way woollen and silk carpets are woven in Bhadoi and other parts of Uttar Pradesh is fascinating. These carpets are rhythmically and painstakingly hand-knotted. A row of six to eight children are seated on a bench in front of an upright loom with warp yarn. An elderly man with a life-time of knotting experience has committed the designs to his memory in the form of songs containing all the code. As he sings the song, the children decode it and put the appropriate knot using a woollen yearn of a specific colour on the warp strings.

Their delicate but nimble fingers do the impossible. Looking at the carpet being woven either from the front or the back leaves you totally clueless as to what the final design would be. But once the knotting is over, an expert shearer clips away the extra wool/silk; it is washed and dried and then the intricate design emerges gloriously.

I believe our prayers must be woven, heart-knotted if you like, on the warp threads of our relationships with God and people. We must listen to the heart-song of God, seek the help of the Holy Spirit to decode it and learn to put those prayer knots. If we knot prayers without listening to the Master Weaver, the design of our life can be quite distorted and meaningless.

Prayer is the soul of our relationship with God. Take away prayer and there is no soul in our relationship with Him.

Then our prayers are mere attempts to transact with God. “I will go to church regularly, please give me success in my exams or job,” could be one such transactional prayer. If you want to succeed in exams work hard at your studies. God is not going to write your exams. He is not going to work in your place at your job. So when you pray and ask God to help you in writing your exams well, He will first ask you to work hard and give it priority and burn the midnight oil right from the day one and not just the day before your exams. That’s what He will tell you when you pray.

If you pray and ask Him to give you promotion, He will ask you to work sincerely, honestly and creatively to add value to the company so that the superiors will be able to see the grace of God (your inclination for sincere and hard work) upon you and promote you to add more value to the company.

Prayer does not make you successful

The point I am making is that prayer does not make you successful but prayer can put you in touch with the powerhouse of God; it can align you to His purposes and help you to plan; and motivate you to give your one hundred percent. So weave prayers in every area of your life. Then God will add His grace (Genesis 39:3).

When you work hard like this you would imagine success is guaranteed. You believe you are sincere and righteous and therefore you will succeed; the other fellow is not and he will fail. But read the Psalmist’s lament (Psalm 73) and the ‘aha’ moment when He went to seek God in prayer for understanding (verse 17). He was flabbergasted that the wicked were prospering and the righteous were feeling that it was futile to be righteous.

But when the Psalmist went into the house of God, looked to God for understanding then he was given the insight of the sudden destruction of the wicked but the righteous would flourish under Him. Prayer to me is to set my heart in the direction of God, engage with Him to seek the truth and accept His revelation. Such prayers are woven into life experiences that usher us into higher spheres of faith.

Prayer to me is to set my heart in the direction of God, engage with Him to seek the truth and accept His revelation.

A few years ago, a team of staff from the electricity department had come to install a power cable to a new house. It was running across from the electric pole on one side of the road to the side of the house. It was very interesting. They had a power cable properly clad in all-weather resistant polymer that would bring the power from the pole to the house. But they also started to couple a strong iron cable to the insulated power cable to give it support, prevent it from snapping and ensure smooth uninterrupted power supply.

Likewise, I believe our prayer too is an iron cable that ensures uninterrupted and unbroken power into all that we do to light up this world. Prayer will enable us to fight all sorts of storms in life and give us uninterrupted power to continue living for God. Let us couple or bind prayer to what we do to fulfil his purposes in our lives.

Jesus prayed early in the morning, before he took upon important assignments (appoint the twelve disciples), and spontaneously. Morning prayers, evening prayers and prayers at meal times are habits of prayer.

When we are about to embark on a new project and we pray, they are specific prayers. The spontaneous prayers are those that we shoot up to God, instinctively, naturally and spontaneously. Like breathing. You are on your way to meeting a difficult client and you are feeling anxious. Pause and pray. I don’t mean you stop driving the car, get out and pray but while you are driving pray with your eyes wide open to the traffic around.

You are trying out a new recipe and guests are expected. You are anxious. Pray as you stir the broth. You are giving a bath to your toddler and you wonder why he has not yet learnt to walk confidently. As you massage his legs pray that God would infuse strength into those legs. Weave prayers into your life – into all the Nano steps that life is made of.

Actionable prayers are powerful and world transforming.

The bible says that with our heart we believe and with our mouth we confess (Romans 10:9, 10). This is our faith. But also faith without works is dead. Therefore, it follows that a prayer of faith must motivate our legs to go where He wants us to go and our hands to do what He wants us to do.

We pray for a number of social needs and evils. But what are you doing about it? Have those prayers percolated into your hands and feet to do something about them. You bemoan the poor condition of roads. But have you prayed that God would move the bureaucrats to get the job done. Good if you have prayed. But have you done something about it? Call the Municipal office and register a complaint/request? Have you written to the Municipal Commissioner? Did you write to the Newspapers?

Finally, I know, when none of the above worked a group of senior citizens gathered and started filling up the pot holes themselves. Then the authorities took action. Prayer and works go together. Life would then be less bumpy.

As we grow in prayer, God will give us maturity to pray the prayer of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane: “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” That is the greatest prayer. We need the wisdom of God to know when to persist like the importunate widow, and surrender and yield like Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane.

Weave prayers into your challenges. The immediate outcomes may be grim at times but the ultimate goal will be glorious. Such prayers are birthed in the hearts that are set in eternity. Become the clay the potter can design you into. ‘He set eternity in our hearts.” (Therefore,) “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth” (Ecclesiastes 3:11; Colossians 3:2).

Become the clay the potter can design you into.

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Relationships Rewired

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Practical Parenting to Raise Confident Children

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Practical Parenting to Raise Confident Children

Parenting does not come naturally. It is to be learnt. Just as we learn how to cook, ride, drive and swim, we must put an effort to master the attitudes and skills necessary for parenting. Unlike cooking and driving, parenting is much more challenging because children have a mind of their own. But it is also more rewarding.

Many parents believe that parenting is all about saving enough money to put a child in the best school possible and put her through every camp available to master every sport, art and hobby. That is not all. Most parents expect their child to top the class, ace the exams and get into the best college in the country. All to land a job with a six figure monthly salary.

Academics are important, nurturing talent is fine and ambition is good but making them life-pursuits for a child is surely setting up a child for a life-time of anxiety, guilt and insecurity.

Parents must work to provide happy childhood, secure adolescence and confident adulthood. Storytelling, pillow fights, picnic at a Zoo, somersaults in a swimming pool, playing Pictionary, an opportunity to look with wonder at the jetting aircrafts in an air show, children on your shoulder to catch a glimpse of a sports star and many, many other things you can do with your children can create a happy childhood.

A teenager will feel secure in a strong identity. What he or she can do, how they are noticed and acknowledged and how they are liked and loved contribute to their identity. When parents shower such attention, acceptance and time-space to discover themselves (with ample margin to make mistakes), they grow secure in an otherwise harsh world. They will then go out be able to accept challenges, take criticism in their stride and build healthy relationships.

As you can see there is no mention of outstanding marks, ranks, prizes and trophies, top schools or colleges and definitely not exorbitant salaries in a healthy parenting plan. Sometimes they happen and that is good. Most of the times, parents focus on these things to satisfy their own ego, overcome their anxiety and showcase their children as a proof of their successful parenting. It is not healthy parenting. In fact, it leads to unending conflicts between parents and children, develops a false sense of identity and misplaced priorities.

Children are not projects to be worked on and completed. They are personalities to be shaped, enjoyed and cherished.

This article is not about helping parents to make their children super successful professionals. Popular literature and social media is replete with it. My sincere appeal to you is to explore some practical aspects that get neglected resulting in parental deficit. And somethings not to be done that could actually be unintended abuse.

Parents, both father and mother must endeavour to practice the following:
  • Talk to infants but listen to children. You can talk all you want to infants and toddlers. It is a valuable psychological pat for a fledgling soul. The child will bask in the attention of the parents. Listen to them when they begin to speak. It is life to the budding soul.
  • Get physical with children. Hold them, hug them, kiss them, pat them, rub them, give them a horsy ride, do a mock arm-wrestling, etc. All these must be done delicately, sensitively and age-appropriately. Moreover, keep your cultural norms in mind. When they grow up appreciate them verbally and occasional hug, pat and touch.
  • Patiently spend time with children in shaping physical habits. Potty training, personal hygiene like brushing teeth properly, washing hands before eating, bathing daily and twice if necessary in summer, eating meals and snacks at proper times, sleeping and getting up at designated times, playing, of use electronic gadgets for designated times, etc., are a few of them. Children develop a sense of personal value in addition to health benefits.
  • Develop spiritual habits like having personal prayer times and family prayer times. Going to Sunday school and church regularly. Make memorizing scripture fun. Start with the Lord’s Prayer and Psalm 23. Help children to invite Jesus into their hearts as their Lord and Saviour. Age is no bar. Remember Jesus admonished His disciples when they were preventing children from coming to Him.
  • Teach them to say ‘Thank you’, ‘Please’, ‘Sorry’. These are not just social graces but they are spiritual values. Remember kindness, meekness and gentleness are fruit of the Spirit. Many children refuse to say sorry as they feel their ego is getting hurt. Teach them these graces before the ego grows too big. If you can’t shape them when they are tender, they will break you when they are older. When you are wrong, please apologise. It’s good to set an example.
  • Every child must be made responsible. They must be first taught to be responsible for their own things. Like carrying their own stuff, picking up things and leaving stuff in their designated places. Some parents do everything for their children right up to their teenage and adulthood. Most of the times they are saying, “I will do everything for you. You don’t have to do a thing. Just get me good marks.” Such children become irresponsible adults and terrible life-partners. At the end of the day job and money is not everything. Mutually satisfying relationships are important for satisfaction in life.
  • Children must then be made to participate in household chores. Filling up water bottles, getting groceries and vegetables, booking cooking gas cylinders, paying bills, extending hospitality to visitors, dusting cars and motorcycles, planning gifts for cousins and uncles and aunts, Christmas decorations, etc. When they become team players at home, they know how to carry themselves and participate in social groups.
  • Teach them simplicity. They can’t have special food all the time. It is neither good for body nor soul. Occasionally when you are sick, groceries have run out and the fridge is empty, teach them to eat a simple meal. Let them know what hunger is. Let them sometimes fend for themselves.
  • Teach them contentment. To be satisfied with life that God has given them. Children look at others and demand similar things. Cell phones, bikes, dresses, jewellery, etc. A parent is the best toy a child can have. If you can spare time and play with a child, they don’t need a play room and a room full of toys. If you can remain their friends in growing years and honest with family finances, they will not demand ‘toys’ like expensive cell phones, bikes and accessories.
  • Teach children to respect your personal time. Let them know that if you are happy and healthy you will be able to better relate to them.
Be sure not to ‘abuse’ a child. No parent does it intentionally but many do unwittingly. Beware!
  • Do not compare one child with another. Whether within the family, church or community. It is not healthy. Parents justify it to motivate a child. It is a poor motivator. It actually breeds resentment, jealousy and inferiority.
  • Do not make all your conversations about academic performance. They may develop an aversion to all things academic. Celebrate children not academic performance.
  • Do not use scolding as a means to discipline. It is demeaning, unhelpful and a futile exercise. Have conversations and agree upon mutually agreeable performance standards. Concluding such conversations with prayer for God’s enablement will help.
  • Never use bad words, names of animals or demeaning expressions while talking to children. You will be insulting God. It leaves an indelible scar on their psyche.
  • Never wish death. No matter how frustrated you are never say you want to die. Or that all your problems will come to an end if you die. Some parents even say to a child: “I don’t know why you were born.” The pain would be unbearable to the child. Then they resort to all sorts of drugs and substances for relief.
  • Don’t nag children.
  • Never fight in front of children. It is fine for children to know that you differ on things but not in a disagreeable way.
  • Don’t tolerate disrespect, rebellion and disdainful attitude from children. Be forgiving of all mischievous behaviour, tolerant of their clumsiness and forgetfulness. But do not allow your children to question your authority. Act swiftly and show who is in control.

The Bible says, “Children’s children are a crown to the aged; parents are the pride of their children.” Parents are the pride of their children.

Parents must lead an exemplary life to earn the respect of the children that He has demanded of them.

If, what they hear from their parents and what they see in them is one and the same, children will find it easy to behave in the same way. Let us make it easy for them. That way they may not become toppers in their classes but surely they would know Jesus, become confident adults to face challenges and build strong families.

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Is Your Soul Well-Dressed?

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Is Your Soul Well-Dressed?

 

A family is a haven for a soul to flower and boom. Members of a family nurture one another physically, celebrate emotionally, stimulate intellectually and motivate purposefully. In such families, everyone can grow secure knowing s/he is loved and valued. Those that are secure are outgoing and experimenting and thereby more friendly and confident. Soon they make a sense of their life and get hooked on to a purpose. Not surprisingly, children from such families go on to build more such fun-filled families. And the legacy continues.

Fathers and mothers, both, must play their part. Traditionally, father was the sole bread-winner and mother a home maker and by default, the significant parent for the children looking after their all-round development. Father was seen as the head of the house and sometimes as a respected figurehead. In a modern home, both parents work but unfortunately, the mother has to still carry on the task of parenting almost all on her own. Fathers rarely play a significant role except when there are crises. This must change.

In a modern home, both parents work but unfortunately, the mother has to still carry on the task of parenting almost all on her own. Fathers rarely play a significant role except when there are crises. This must change.

A family is a team. All must work together and play their part. Like in any team sport, all players have their speciality of skill like a bowler, wicket-keeper or a batsman. They are expected to perform in their skillful role. When all players excel in their speciality, the team wins. Even if the batsmen score centuries, if the bowlers do not take wickets, all those centuries would be in vain. Sometimes, batsmen fail. Then bowlers who are usually tail-enders even bat well and bring home the trophy. They rise to the occasion in a crisis.

A family can learn a lot from sport. In fact, when members of a family play any sport, they come across as a great team. When Nabal failed as a husband, Abigail pitched in for him (1 Samuel 25). Aquila and Priscilla come across as a great team (Acts 18).

Young parents in a modern home must be prepared to set aside traditions, rigidity and egos to take up mutual (as opposed to equal) responsibility in shaping the personalities of their children. Sharing of responsibilities is mutual when all tasks and responsibilities are listed and the parents pick and choose as per their strengths and what is practical to all. One must be very clear what a responsibility is and what is a task.

Young parents in a modern home must be prepared to set aside traditions, rigidity and egos to take up mutual (as opposed to equal) responsibility in shaping the personalities of their children.

Let’s take the example of children’s education. Children’s education is a responsibility but attending parent-teacher meeting is one of the tasks under that responsibility. In principle, a parent is expected to list and carry out the tasks needed to effectively fulfill that responsibility. However, some of those tasks could be delegated to spouse, grandparents and older children.

May be the father has the responsibility of family finances. Preparing a budget, paying tithes and paying bills are a few tasks under that responsibility. He could delegate one or two tasks but he is responsible for the finances of the house. Delegation of tasks must be done for smooth functioning but not to escape and overburden any one member of the family. When any one parent is overburdened, the marriage suffers and it in-turn leads to family discord affecting the child.

Strong teams are shaped by a shared vision and a purpose. For example, if a family gives itself a vision like: “We will be a godly family” then everyone will make it a point to view if what they are saying and doing is acceptable and pleasing to God. This can become a common thread in conversations, making choices and arriving at mutually agreeable plans.

For example, if this family makes a vacation plan to go to Kolkata they will probably make it a point to visit, among other tourist spots, Sisters of Charity, a home that was headed by Mother Theresa. Wherever they are, they will make it a point to attend a Sunday morning worship service. As they all agreed to be a godly family, even making such decisions on the go will be much easier.

“All for one, one for all”

“All for one, one for all” is the credo of three musketeers. It is apt for families too. When someone is sick in the family, all pitch in to care for that member. Someone to take him to the doctor, someone to look after the diet, someone to attend to her/him. Children could be asked to write notes of the lessons that s/he has missed. Basically make sure every effort is made to make it easy to go through the sickness and help in getting back to normal routine. This may mean missing play time, TV time or game time for other members.

Exam times are stressful. So are tournament times. Parents and siblings must be there for all who are going through such testing times. Cheering them, encouraging them and praying with them will help tide over difficult times. Coaches and teachers do help in moments of setbacks and losses. But the comfort, reassurance of a parent and sibling is very therapeutic.

Parents must learn to debrief a child after all significant events. In fact, it is important that every member has that joy of talking about what happened.

Parents must learn to debrief a child after all significant events. In fact, it is important that every member has that joy of talking about what happened. Whether it is a sad or a happy turn of events, it does a world of good, emotionally to just talk. Strong families know how to take failures with successes. They are a team.

A Christian family must worship God together. Regular family prayer is very essential for growing strong in the Lord. Such times define our identity as a family and as an individual. Bible is studied together may be through a devotional or through group study of passages. Joys and griefs are shared and taken to the Lord for His attention and action. Scripture should be the script for life.

Parents must encourage sincere discussion where scripture is applied to life situations as they happen in life.

Parents must encourage sincere discussion where scripture is applied to life situations as they happen in life. Every member of the family must have their own Bible which they use for daily reading and study. Father must play a significant part in spiritual nurture of the family. Mother can orchestrate and facilitate the devotional time. As children grow, opportunity can be given to all members to conduct the family prayer times. Home is a good place to nurture spiritual leadership. Consider the time when Abraham was taking Isaac to be sacrificed. Isaac did not even utter a word of protest as he was bound and placed on the wood. I wonder if Abraham had so taught him to trust the Lord as he himself did (Genesis 22).

Often parents outsource spiritual nurture to church, Sunday school and Youth Fellowship. The spiritual inputs at these groups are a good supplement to the spiritual nurture at home, but they cannot become a substitute.

Often parents outsource spiritual nurture to church, Sunday school and Youth Fellowship. The spiritual inputs at these groups are a good supplement to the spiritual nurture at home, but they cannot become a substitute. Once that is in place, all members must actively participate in the learning and serving ministry of the church.

A good church educates, equips and encourages her members. Families must participate in such programs of the church and grow stronger in spiritual life. The church also provides opportunities to minister both to the members of the church and the community. Children can be encouraged to discover their spiritual gifts and serve the church with them. In the meantime, they must employ all their natural talents like singing, quizzing, drawing, painting, dancing, etc., to contribute to church programs, especially in outreach and mission programs.

When parents invest their lives in children, they become sharp instruments in the hands of the Lord.

Parents must be very careful not to neglect children and go out on ministry work. The greatest ministry is among children and family and that is the most challenging mission field. When parents invest their lives in children, they become sharp instruments in the hands of the Lord. If not, children may not turn out godly and they will be a poor testimony to God. Parents must see children as co-players in the team and must get involved in the ministry as a family. Their involvement in church and ministry must be an expression of their family living.

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Being Passionate and Purposeful

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Being Passionate and Purposeful

Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion. – Georg Hegel – German PhilosopherYou may have heard a story of a man who had ordered a desktop computer from IBM when they came early into the market. The system was delivered with clear instructions on how to set it up. He read the basic instructions, figured out how to set it up and started using it. After using it for a few weeks, he wrote to IBM asking them to replace the coffee mug holder that came with the computer.

The staff in the tech department were at a loss to figure out what the customer was talking about. They called him to find out but could not figure what he was saying. They sent their representative to check it out. When asked to show the coffee mug holder, the customer presses what happened to be a button that brings out the CD ROM drive and out came the broken CD tray. The customer did not know what a CD ROM drive was and mistook the CD tray for a coffee mug holder and started using it as one, and it broke.

The moral of the story: If you don’t know how to use a thing, you are bound to abuse it. Just as it is important to know the purpose of various things in life, it is even more important to know the purpose of life itself.

In this article, we will see how important it is to have a purpose in life and that the joy of life is in pursuing that purpose.

Adam was given the task of tending the garden and the privilege of naming the animals. Adam and Eve were asked to be fruitful and multiply; subdue the earth and have dominion over all the creation (Genesis 1:28). Powerful projects to be excited all their life. Purpose gives excitement. Life is boring without a meaningful pursuit. It can even be depressing.

People without a purpose are drifters. To them, the grass is always greener on the other side because they do not know the value of what they have. There is no sense of joy nor satisfaction in their lives because they have not set out to pursue anything significant or with any vigour. Such people never experience a sense of achievement and consequently the joy of achieving.

On the contrary, those that have a clear purpose, are confident, energetic and focussed. They are clear in their mind and pursue their goals with passion. They are more joyful for having achieved a purpose and generous in sharing the fruits of such success. I am not saying that purpose alone will give you joy as there are other factors like family and friends who could enhance the joy of pursuing a purpose. Purposeful people can weather unexpected storms. They keep going in the face adversity (Romans 8: 35-39).

People without a purpose are drifters. To them, the grass is always greener on the other side because they do not know the value of what they have. Jesus had a clear purpose in His life on earth. He came to proclaim and establish the Kingdom of God. He did it in three short years. He was clear about His purpose, and passionate to fulfil it. He was never distracted by anything that did not contribute to His purpose, even ministry of healing.

They wanted to make Him king but He turned it down. Someone requested Jesus to go and settle a property dispute. It was not part of His brief so stayed clear of it. His purpose and timing was impeccable. Thirdly, He was clear about His purpose and timing as He had His ear inclined to the voice of His Father.

Therefore, purposes in life, the time table to fulfil them and a step-by-step direction to accomplish them comes from our heavenly Father. Abraham found his purpose in the call of God to separate himself so that nations could come from him to be God’s people. Moses took up the purpose to liberate people of Israel from bondage to freedom and Promised Land. Peter was to become the foundation of the Church Christ was to build. Paul purposed to take the gospel to the gentiles. All of them received revelation and developed a divine sense of purpose. They had to bid His time and wait on Him to receive clear instructions to accomplish it.

Purposes are not only about liberating nations, occupying promised lands and turning nations to Christ. They could also be simple things like mopping floors, serving meals, keeping gates, driving vehicles, etc. Teaching students, building bridges, keeping books, raising crops and healing people are a few others. What we do becomes purposeful when we know that God has given us this task, he will tell us when and how to do it.

Like Abraham, Moses or Paul, we may not have heard God’s voice through lightning and thunder about our purpose in life. In the words of Paul, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. (Colossians 3:23, 24). Therefore, no matter what the task, it assumes a divine sense of purpose when we do it for the Lord and the reward is sure.

Very few people end up doing what they like. Most people unwittingly choose what pays more or what gives them importance and an easy life. Very few people end up doing what they like. Most people unwittingly choose what pays more or what gives them importance and an easy life. Such motivations can land us in most unfulfilling and frustrating situations. If you are in such an unsatisfying situation do not leave your post till the Lord shows you another beyond a shadow of doubt. Till such time steel yourself to give your best to the task at hand. That is your godly purpose for now.

As much as purposes for our lives come from God, they generate an energy of their own (passion if you like) when they are done for Him with love. It is not the profile of the task or the setting of it that gives us the primary motivation but the fact that we are doing it for Him. When we miss this important fact, we fall into a great temptation of comparing our task with the task of another and feel superior or inferior.

But if we are clear that the Master has asked us to do it and we do it as unto Him with love and reverence, it becomes holy and sacred and stands by itself. That is why the Master rewarded the faithfulness of the two servants in multiplying their talents and punished the one who buried it (Matthew 25:14-30). Imagine, if the second servant had said, “Why did the master give me only two talents and five to the other one?” and went and buried his two talents. It would have been a terrible mistake.

It is important to discover the spiritual gifts given to us by God and start employing them in the local church you belong to. Every member of the Body of Christ – the Church – is expected to play a part, perform a function and contribute to her growth. God has given us spiritual gifts for such a purpose. It is important to discover the spiritual gifts given to us by God and start employing them in the local church you belong to. It is in giving that we receive. We will grow with the church too.

Pursuing purposes with passion is easier when our work is acknowledged, recognized and appreciated. But it may not be the case always. Consider the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). The father pursued his purpose of parenting with a passion irrespective of how the sons reacted. Even today, many well-meaning parents sacrifice a lot and do many things for their children. Sometimes the children are just ungrateful and are even abusive of their parents. But if we do what we do as unto the Lord, we are happy to hear commendation from our Heavenly Father for what we have done irrespective of the outcome. Sometimes, our bosses are not appreciative of our work but if we are clear that our purpose is to please our Master, we are happy. If the bosses too recognize and acknowledge our work, it is a double blessing.

Just as we purpose in our hearts to do great things for the Lord, like Daniel we must also purpose in our hearts not to defile ourselves with the ways of the world. We must avoid the “lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes and the pride of life” (1 John 2:16). Many great men and women of God have fallen to the wiles of the Devil. Watch out and be on guard in prayer.

Over a period of time, people tend to become cold in the pursuit of a purpose. Specially, when it is a long term goal. Nobody ever pleased God with a half-hearted approach to life. Strong words were given to the angel of the church in Laodicea: “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth (Revelation 3:16)”

Purposeful living can be exciting and you might think everyone will fall in line and cheer you. No. You will be surprised that some of your own will oppose you, abandon you and even betray you. But remember, if you are about a God-given purpose, have a sense of divine timing and are prayerfully pursuing it, God is on your side. Therefore, “if God be for us, who can be against us” (Romans 8:31)?

Not only people in the Bible but heroes of faith (people who did things for God, no matter what) abound in every generation. In our own generation we have seen Billy Graham, Mother Theresa and Graham Staines. These are global figures but in each nation we have our own home-grown heroes who inspire us to live purposeful lives. Look for someone around you who lives a purposeful life with a sense of divine mandate, perfect timing and spiritual direction. Seek their mentorship. Tomorrow you can mentor others who seek such life.

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Pleasure On Demand, Not a Good Idea

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Pleasure On Demand, Not a Good Idea

In my previous article, I argued that relationships give us the greatest pleasure. What was lost in Eden was regained in Gethsemane. The ravages of disobedience of Adam were negated by the obedience of Jesus on the cross of Calvary. As a result, relationships were restored between God and man and man and woman.

Jesus made way for His redeemed people to enjoy life in all its fullness (John 10:10). However, the little foxes of misplaced priorities, selfish behaviours and deficit mentality continue to spoil the vineyards of our lives. The thief continues to do all that is possible to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. One of his ploys is to dangle the promise of instant gratification and seek pleasure on demand. We must not fall prey to it.

The thief continues to do all that is possible to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. One of his ploys is to dangle the promise of instant gratification and seek pleasure on demand. We must not fall prey to it.

The Devil chose a vulnerable moment to strike Jesus with irresistible temptations. But not for Jesus. The Devil tested Jesus’ ability to resist the temptation to satisfy His hunger with His powers as the Son of God. Jesus did not succumb to it. Again, the Devil tempted Jesus to test God’s love for Him by jumping off the pinnacle of the Temple. The Devil lost again. Thirdly, setting Jesus on a high mountain the Devil tested Him with the allure of all kingdoms of the world.

On all three occasions, the Devil was in a way saying, “All that you can get, get it NOW, the easy way. You don’t have to go through the cross, wait till the second coming and fight for it. It’s yours for the asking, NOW. Only bow down and worship me. Forget about God.” Jesus chased him away by declaring His loyalty to God. He resisted the temptations, chose the cross and waited for the Father to give Him all that was His.

The Devil tempts us in the same way: He wants us to fulfil our needs in our own strength independent of God; he wants us to test God’s love for us; and he wants us to worship him and not God.

The Devil tempts us in the same way: He wants us to fulfil our needs in our own strength independent of God; he wants us to test God’s love for us; and he wants us to worship him and not God. So many people live by the dictum: “I want it, I want it the way I want it and I want it NOW.” With such people, there is no waiting, there is no suffering and there is no cross. They want to bypass God and grab the goodies Satan is dangling in front of them, NOW.

“Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, but he who gathers by labour will increase” (Proverbs 13:11).

Gathering by hard and patient labour takes time. But people want to fulfill their desires NOW without waiting for God to fulfill them. They resort to taking bribes, claiming inflated expenses, evading taxes, cheating, stealing, etc. Nothing satisfies them. They want more and more of money and everything. But they don’t know that “he who is greedy for gain troubles his own house” (Proverbs 15:27). They forget that when we “Take delight in the Lord, He will give us the desires of our heart’ (Psalm 37:4).

Sex is beautiful within the boundaries of marriage. It is a pleasure that God gifted to man and woman to enjoy in a marriage. Many youngsters do not see it this way. They do not want to wait till marriage to enjoy the sexual pleasure. They want it NOW. They feel it and therefore they want it. To enjoy it within marriage, they have to wait, work and accept responsibility. Then they can marry. But that is too much of a ‘cross’ for many. They will bypass it and satisfy their sexual pleasures at will. They do not realise that such promiscuous behaviour will damage their consciences and future marriages.

Pornography is a counterfeit pleasure. It is absolutely a creation of the Devil. He substituted the fake for the real…What is pure pleasure in marriage has been corrupted in pornography

Pornography is truly a pleasure on demand. Married or unmarried, people don’t seem to think twice before they indulge in it. Some psychologists even prescribe pornography to bring the spark back in marriage. Pornography is a counterfeit pleasure. It is absolutely a creation of the Devil. He substituted the fake for the real.

Men and women seek this destructive pleasure whenever, wherever and however. It is available on demand at the click of a button. What is pure pleasure in marriage has been corrupted in pornography. Many minds and marriages are destroyed because of addiction to pornography. People lost their marriages and jobs. All because they succumbed to the lie of Satan that they can have this pleasure on demand. NOW.

Many minds and marriages are destroyed because of addiction to pornography. People lost their marriages and jobs. All because they succumbed to the lie of Satan that they can have this pleasure on demand. NOW.

Smoking weed and drinking alcohol have become common among high school students. Beyond curiosity, they seek it for pleasure. Both boys and girls do it. Once they start it they become addicted to it. They begin to demand it. They can’t do without it.

Others may not be seeking pleasures of money, sex and drugs but their pleasures are equally deceptive and sometimes destructive. Every day we are bombarded with advertisements of branded clothes and accessories, smart phones and gadgets of every kind. Some of them we may need but most of them we definitely don’t need.

Irresistible offers on exotic holidays, enticing foods and drinks pop up on your phones, laptops and Tablets beckoning you to enjoy them urgently! Bigger cars and glittering jewellery are screaming in your mind to be possessed. There is every form of convenience provided in the form of a credit card and a payment scheme without a down payment which they claim is at 0% interest. You don’t have to earn to spend, at least so they say. They don’t want you to wait, save and spend; they want you to spend NOW. It is a trap. Don’t fall into it.

You don’t have to earn to spend, at least so they say. They don’t want you to wait, save and spend; they want you to spend NOW. It is a trap. Don’t fall into it.

There are pleasures like pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, pornography and drugs that are surely forbidden. But all other creature comforts and simple pleasures that come as a blessing of loving God and loving our family can surely be enjoyed. However, even while we seek those material comforts and possessions let us consider a principle to keep us in check. I call it the principle of postponed pleasure.

Simply stated, let us learn to postpone the fulfilment of all our material desires. It is natural to desire the latest phone that has come into the market. When the desire rises in your heart, you feel like fulfilling it immediately. NOW. But tell yourself, “I will not buy it now but I will wait. I will postpone the pleasure of fulfilling it.” When you wait the desire will lose its hold on your heart. You will no longer feel compelled to buy it. While you are waiting, you can also do a need analysis and a cost-benefit analysis. You will realise that you really don’t need it or that you cannot really afford it. Or sometimes the product turns out to have defects and are better off not buying it.

The principle of postponed pleasure is an antidote to the poison of instant gratification, seeking pleasure on demand. When you postpone your pleasure, you develop patience, exercise wisdom and learn the meaning of enjoying every God-given pleasures within God-prescribed boundaries.

Youngsters can also apply this principle in their relationships with friends. They can resolve to ‘postpone their pleasure of a sexual relationship’ to when they get married. They can overcome their temptations and enjoy friendships within godly boundaries.

The principle of postponed pleasure is an antidote to the poison of instant gratification, seeking pleasure on demand. When you postpone your pleasure, you develop patience, exercise wisdom and learn the meaning of enjoying every God-given pleasures within God-prescribed boundaries. There is joy in such pleasures. Those who indulge in pleasures on demand may enjoy the thrill of the dive in the oceans of pleasure but they are sure to come up with gravel in their mouth.

Let us resolve this New Year to practice the principle of postponed pleasure.

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Marriage Preparation

This program empowers a person to strip away the myths of romance and courtship and helps to unfold the reality and sanctity of marriage.

Suitable for – Couples who planned to get married.

Duration – 2 days

Course Content:

  • Marriage as God’s design
  • Are men and women hardwired differently
  • Building self esteem
  • Finding the love of your life – God’s will
  • Understanding ME – Temperament test
  • Role-ing together
  • Engaging communication in conflict
  • Language of lasting love
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Stress Management

This program gives you have an insight into the various types of stress, helps you identify their causes, examine how they affect lives and learn how to accept changes  and face stress in everyday life and career.

Suitable for – Employees, entrepreneurs, youth, professionals and home-makers.

Duration  2 days

Course Content: 

  • ABC’s of stress
  • Assessment of personal stress levels
  • Areas of stress
  • Aftermath of stress
  • Aids to stress relief
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Personality Development

The seminar covers the biblical perspective on personality. It will help you discover yourself, build healthy self esteem, relationships and live with integrity.

Suitable for – Adults

Duration – 2 days

Course Content:

  • Biblical perspective of personality development
    • Growing in wisdom
    • Growing in stature
    • Growing in favour with God
    • Growing in favour with man
  • Personality consists of two parts
    • External
      • Phyical appearance
      • Communication
      • Behavious and mannerisms
    • Internal
      • Toughts
      • Feelings
      • Values and attitudes
      • Habits
  • Iceberg principles on personality
  • What are the features of a healthy personality?
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Accredited Advanced Biblical Counselling – Level 1 – Blended – Online

ACCREDITED ADVANCED BIBLICAL COUNSELLING LEVEL 1 (BLENDED MODE)

The Accredited Advanced Biblical counselling – Level 1 – Blended Mode training program is delivered in two modules :

  • An Online Module that includes 14 lessons, delivered to you in four formats of Video Lessons, Reading Notes, Lesson Quizzes and Lesson Assignments. This has to be taken up first.
  • Classroom Module where those who have completed the online module have to enroll to and attend the classroom training in Hyderabad for three days.

The course is intended to equip participants for involvement in counselling ministry and for accreditation.

 

Who is it for?
  • Those who have done Introduction to Biblical Counselling (IBC) or any introductory course in counselling.
  • Those who are involved in the counselling ministry and are seeking accreditation.
  • Bible College graduates who want to specialize in the counselling ministry.
  • Graduates from Psychology, Social Work or related courses wanting to learn more specifically about Christian Counselling.
  • People who find it difficult to get away from family and work for an entire week but are still desirous of signing up for an in-depth training in Christian counselling.
What can I expect?
  • The course has 14 lessons taught as video lessons, reading notes, review quizzes and assignments.
  • Duration of course: 4 months from the time you begin; extendable by another 2 months if required.
  • Time needed for each lesson: approximately 2 hours.
  • At the end of each lesson, there are “Test Yourself” questions you have to answer. Keys will be given once the assignments are submitted.
  • The course is designed to apply to ourselves first (make it a tool for personal growth) before applying it to others.
  • Upon completion of the online module, a certificate will be awarded for the online module, which will allow you to sign up for the classroom training at Hyderabad. (other places based on demand)
What can I do?
  • You may spread the word around to those who will benefit from this blended mode training program.
  • You may want to form a group of few people (5-10 people) to study and discuss the lessons together.
  • You may want to set aside certain days of the week and certain times of the days to do this study. A fixed schedule helps to get the job done.
Categories
Selection of Programs

Accredited Advanced Biblical Counselling – Level 1

This program is accredited by the Association of Christian Counsellors – South Asia.

Participants will be equipped for involvement in counselling ministry and for accreditation.

Suitable for –

  • Those who have done IBC or any introductory course in counselling.
  • Those who are involved in the counselling ministry and seeking accreditation.
  • Bible College graduates who want to specialize in the counselling ministry.
  • Graduates from Psychology, Social Work or related courses wanting to learn more specifically about Christian Counselling.

Course Content:

  • Origin of Personal Problems
  • Counselling in Context of Local Church
  • Relationship to Spiritual Gifts and Healing
  • Psychosomatic Illnesses
  • Mood Disorders
  • Counselling Attitudes
  • Ethical Issues in Counselling

Duration : 50 hours, over 6 days

Categories
Selection of Programs

Advanced Biblical Counselling

This is a non-accredited advanced training program that will equip participants to people helpers.

Suitable for –

  • Those who have a heart to reach out to the hurting
  • Those who are new to counselling
  • Those who want to find out if counselling is their calling

Course Content:

  • Biblical Basis of Counselling
  • Basics of Counselling
  • Biblical Understanding of Personality
  • Self-image & Self-Esteem
  • Counselling Model
  • Counselling Skills
  • Application Areas

Duration : 15 hours, over 5 days

Categories
Blogs

International Webinar on Self-care by Dr. Paula Davis

Prayerletters

International Webinar on Self-care by Dr. Paula Davis

Person to Person – Institute for Christian Counselling, Hyderabad, invites all its training program graduates to an exciting ‘Webinar on Self-care’, by Dr. Paula Davis on the 31st of August 2019, at 4 PM IST.

Dr. Paula Davis is an accomplished career demonstrating consistent success as a psychotherapist, supervisor, counselling and marriage educator, group facilitator and trauma counsellor/educator in post- war developing countries. She has an excellent track record in curriculum development and assuring student support and success.

Dr. Davis is also seasoned in conceiving and building education programs from the ground up through proven competencies in curriculum development and student development / empowerment. She has an extensive background of designing and implementing distinct programs for psychologically traumatised individuals, couples, communities and ethnically diverse populations.

She is an effective communicator with excellent planning, organisational, and negotiation strengths as well as the ability to lead, inspire, establish goals, and attain results.

To participate in the webinar you will need to register your self.
You can do so by using the link below – 

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